Sometimes we all act self-confident when we’re not really feeling it and that’s just fine. Our acting will either make us feel more confident or we won’t be able to sustain it and we’ll revert to our less confident selves. True self-confidence is the goal, and it comes from within. These 8 steps can help you find – and maintain – true inner confidence.
- Focus on your strengths, not your weaknesses
We all have strengths and we all have weaknesses. Unless your job or your business depends on your weaknesses, stop thinking about them and focus on the things you are good at.
- Adopt a positive mindset
Any time you tell yourself that you can’t do something or you’re not good at it, you make it true. Try telling yourself that you can do something, that you are good at whatever it is you want to be good at. Adopting a positive mindset, when practised consistently, will strengthen your inner confidence.
- Don’t compare
We can’t emphasise this point enough: stop comparing yourself to others. You don’t really know what goes on behind closed doors. You’re not seeing someone else’s reality and you don’t know what it takes to be them. All the time you’re comparing yourself to someone else, you’re stealing from yourself. Don’t do it – look instead at your own unique talents and abilities.
- Leave the past behind
You can’t change the past but you can change the future. Leave the past behind and start right now making the choices that will lead you to the future you’d like for yourself.
- Ignore loudmouths
If you want an inner confidence role model, you’re more likely to find the genuine article among the humble, quiet people who aren’t saying much… because they don’t have to. Remember that the person who thinks they are important sits at the head of the table. The person who really is important sits where he or she likes.
- Keep a feel-good file
Every time someone pays you a compliment about your work, your abilities or your character, quietly record it in special feel-good file you keep for just that purpose. Keep complimentary emails and records of positive texts in the same file. Then anytime you need a confidence boost, take a quick look at your feel-good file and remember what makes you special.
- Be your own best friend
True self-confidence is not about how others see you, its about how you see yourself. Practice seeing yourself in a good light.
- Commit to positive self-talk
Would you let someone else criticise your best friend? No. So don’t let anyone criticise you – especially not yourself. Make a commitment to yourself that you will practice positive inner talk. Remind yourself why you’re good enough and then keep those thoughts uppermost in your mind and banish negative self-talk.