Here’s how you can develop more resilience to cope with life’s challenges.
Most of us face difficulties and set-backs in life, sometimes daily, which is challenging and stressful and can push us to our limit. Yet we all know colleagues or friends who, it seems, sometimes irritatingly, are able to take these situations in their stride – so, how do they do it?
The key insight is that these women consistently boost their self-confidence with effective and well known practices which may appear simple and obvious. But the trick is to do them regularly as a daily practice so they become second nature to us. These practices will build confidence, make us more resilient and better able to cope, and give us more control over our lives.
Here are a few practices that worked well for me.
See mistakes as an opportunity for personal growth. Give yourself permission to fail. Take the time afterwards to stop and evaluate what happened and how you can do things differently in future to get the outcome you desire.
When emotions run high, take a deep breath and a step back to give yourself space to formulate a considered response instead of over-reacting which could have negative consequences.
Listen actively when having a conversation – show respect for others’ opinions even if you do not share them. Ask questions to show interest and respond positively with Yes, And … which creates space to build on an idea or to explore options, providing more opportunity for a good solution to be found.
When you find that you are struggling with a project or to find an effective solution, or you just are not sure how to go about something, then ask for assistance rather than struggling on alone for fear of being seen to be incompetent if you ask for help.
Set boundaries for expectations of what you expect from others and what others should expect from you. Make them clear, to yourself, to others and then stick to them! This will ensure you do not over-commit to things (as we all do!) that will compromise your own time and make your life more stressful.
Avoid comparing yourself to others, especially to those who you believe are better than you. Each one of us is unique – which is our strength and our value – you don’t need to be what you think others expect you to be – show up, proudly as your authentic self.
Allow yourself ‘me time’ – a few moments alone with yourself – to relax and be free of the demands of others. To feel gratitude for what you have in your life and to celebrate what you have achieved.
For more information about self-confidence and Confidence Coaching, visit www.performheracademy.co.za